GERMS!

I'm not sure when it happened but I've been a germaphobe for some time now. However when I was a kid, I would eat raw hamburger meat, jump into a garbage dumpster, and drink from a stranger's glass.

Now the raw hamburger meat was a "perk" of working at my dad's grocery store, since the butchers made it to sell so there'd be some left over.

The reason I was jumping into garbage dumpsters, if it was overflowing, the stock boys would take a big piece of cardboard, lay it on top of the garbage and jump on it to compact it down.

Drinking from a stranger's glass was one time only. My parents were having a pool built in our backyard and my mom made lemonade for them. They had finished for the day so my friend and I were playing in the backyard. That's when I spotted the half filled(empty) glass and since it was summer, I was hot and thirsty.

Nowadays, I worry about the temperature of my oven when cooking. Can't tell you how many times I've burnt french fries and veggie burgers.

At work, I use the paper towel I've dried my hands with in the bathroom to open the doors between it and the office. Thankfully I no longer feel like I need to use hand sanitizer since it's not good for you.

One reason I'm this bad now is that I've seen people use the bathroom and not wash their hands when they're done. Another is the news specials about germs and where they are found.

1/2 Day Treat Yo Self

A great work perk is that we get a half day on certain holidays, so I don’t bring lunch since we’re dismissed at 1pm.

Last Labor Day Eve I treated myself to lunch at Tomatillo in Dobbs Ferry and it was still warm enough for a beer with lunch.

On the second visit prior to Thanksgiving I skipped the beer and my bill was cheaper, Captain Lawrence is pricey but so worth it. When tracking my spending, I saw on these visits that they were the only times I used my Fun Fund for those months. This prompted me to save my going out for a meal for these half days since I have the holiday schedule for the year and can plan accordingly.

I Would Like To Be An Average Mind

At my last job there was a co-worker who talked loudly, cursed a lot, had personal conversations where the whole office heard, and tried to be the center of attention.

It’s actually been awhile since I’ve thought of them but I’m going through saved blog ideas as a way to improve my writing and finishing what I’ve started.

Back then I would think about the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt,

‘Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people’

There were plenty of times that I was an audience to coworkers talking about each other. Sometimes one of them would leave the circle and they’d become the subject of discussion.

When you think about a person in a negative way not only is it a bad thing to do, but you’re cheating yourself out of having good thoughts about how to improve your life and of those around you.

Grow Up!

One part of being an adult that I don’t like is when I’m forced to act like one.

I’ll give an example; at a previous job there was a co-worker who didn’t do theirs. Every morning when I go to the office, they’d be on the phone with a friend or family member for at least 45 minutes. When the call was over they began working on their jewelry and/or catering company websites. This was a major violation of our company’s work policy, and they sold bracelets at work to HR no less. They also spent their day watching videos on either the work computer or their smartphone.

I wasn't the only person who was aware of what they were doing, but reporting them to HR or the company hotline would have been wrong.

Another example, co-workers who wore jeans on days designated for business casual. This was especially annoying when I had to go to meetings to remind everyone about the dress code.

Now I could’ve reacted in one of two ways, the first was to act like a child and start goofing off as well, and wear jeans.

Or, the way I always did, keep my frustrations to myself, and kept working.

Living Up To My Ethnicity

It's tough being Irish on St Patrick's Day, people expect me to wear green and give me a hard time if I don't.

When I got to the office this morning, several of my coworkers were in the kitchen for bagel Thursday. As soon as they saw my blue sweater, they all asked "Where's your green?"

I replied "I'm already drunk, what more do you want?" which made them laugh.

Another asked "Did you at least bring some Guinness in?"

"I did bring some in, in my belly."

Weird Dream # 637

I was working at MetroPCS, which was in the process of shutting down. There was more people than equipment and furniture which made the office into a first come, first served atmosphere. I had a desk and went to get a drink of water, when I came back someone else was sitting there saying since I didn't sign into the computer it was up for grabs. Finding a new desk, I began working on a spreadsheet.

Fast forward to lunch and I walked out of the office into a mall... which didn't phase my dream self. As I was walking back to the office, I noticed a band playing off to the side of the walkway. It was Stone Temple Pilots, back together!

Each of them didn't look to be happy playing, but they put on a hell of a show. At the end of their show, I was able to shake Scott Weiland's hand.

Then I woke up...

The Weird, The Good, And The Bad

Vivid dreams are becoming a rarity for me, so when I can remember one I like to share it. The latest started with me working in a small office with the cast of Workaholics and it was my first day on the job. As the trio gave me the tour they were playing pranks on my new coworkers, and harassing the female employees. There weren't any cubicles, but several conference tables for two people to sit at.

As they were showing me my "desk" this loud guy came into the office. He was threatening people, and no one was doing anything about it. I was going to say something, yet I warned not to because this guy was crazy. He walked over to me and asked me a question in snide way, so I replied in the same manner which he didn't like. He threw a punch at me and I avoided it, then punched him back in the face. Right away it turned red, and swelled up. This didn't slow him down and he kept coming at me. That's when I noticed his smart phone in his right hand recording our fight. I struck at him with a flurry of blows which caused him to start crying and run away.

Cut to...

Emma Stone sitting outside, her blonde hair catching my attention. I don't remember much from this part, but I think she paid me twenty dollars for a kiss. It was good till her teeth kept banging into mine.

Fade to...

I'm lying in bed on my stomach, checking my iPod Touch, when I hear someone sneak into my apartment. I slide my hand holding my iPod under my pillow right before this person comes into my bedroom. They start frisking me (checking for valuables?) and I feel them reach under my pillow and take my iPod.

Then I woke up...

In the same exact position I was in my dream! This freaked me out for several seconds until I saw my Apple product on the table next to my bed. Then I remembered the part about Emma and was bummed that it wasn't a great kiss.